Foundations and the little things


Today I am thinking about the foundation of marriage and how it makes a difference in the way we react to temptation.  I was watching the show, “This is Us” and that very issue was depicted.  A man says to the main female character, “If your husband loved you he would let you….”  I wish the show could have stopped right there and discussed what her options were, for a response.  The man was attractive and clearly drawn to her.  How would you respond if it were you? What would you do or say?

On the show, the female character was quick to admonish him for assuming to know just how much her husband did love her. She defended her husband and even referred to him as a “rock star.” She very tactfully told the man that he had crossed a line, making negative assumptions about the strength of her marriage.  I loved it!  She was not drawn in by his temptation, to question the value her husband place don her. She was simply not tempted by him.

I explain to couples that temptations happen every day.  There is no day that goes by, when you are not tempted to make a choice that could turn your marriage around. The goal is to always keep choosing your mate.

You ask, well how does this happen, because I would have been tempted?  It happens when you create a sturdy foundation.  The characters in this story have a solid relationship.  When she defended her husband, it wasn’t because of the jewelry he might have given her or the big house she might live in.  It was because of all the little acts of love he did for her, every day.  The little things matter.  Bringing a glass of water to your spouse, holding their hand, helping with household chores, making them laugh, sitting by them on the couch, all of this matters.  Ask your mate what would make them defend you, when being tempted.  What would make them feel that they were on a solid foundation?  Then act on it.  Don’t hesitate if your relationship matters to you and you want to see it grow and flourish.

The little things matter, temptations are daily – be proactive!  If you feel you would have been tempted and need help towards a sturdier foundation, please call for an appointment.

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