Every stage in life is a transition. I know you have heard that before, but today it’s something to reflect on. Are you currently going through a transition or recently gone through one? Maybe you are anticipating one coming soon.
So many don’t take the time to grieve what was left behind. Sometimes we don’t feel justified to grieve, because the change was a positive one. That however, doesn’t mean we still don’t grieve the change.
As I first left my family home to launch on my own, I can tell you I grieved. My mother, if she were still here, would also tell you I was a big baby, crying and pleading with her to come stay with me.
When I married it was a positive transition in life. However, I was leaving behind the single way of life and those single friends still out looking for their life partners. I grieved losing the late night breakfast runs and the all-night talks about some new person we met. Despite the happy milestone in my life, there was much to grieve.
Even as I became a parent for the first time, I recall grieving that my worry-free life was gone, because I would now constantly stress over the wellbeing of someone, for the rest of my life. That was daunting and also fed into the post-partum depression I was struggling through. Life had once again changed and so had the rules.
At each one of these junctures, we are forced to move forward. I mean, what’s the alternative?
When my mother died, it was a very hard transition, but that is a universally recognized, appropriate time to grieve. And, grieve I did. Again, being pushed forward to continue with life.
Altering our life at each stage is not easy. Sometimes, we need help getting through those changes and/or to provide us with the tools to help those we live with in their grief.
This morning, as I watch my daughter drive away to high school, I realize that before too long, I will be an empty nester. My life will have changed, yet again. The house won’t seem as full and I will have time on my hands. Believe me, I am already having anticipatory grief, but it won’t really prepare me for what’s to come. I will need to go through it, as it comes my way.
However, what I can do is recognize I will struggle. I’ll need to recognize my partner will have change, too and we’ll need to help one another through our transition; discovering what our new chapter holds. And, if I need help, I will reach for that too.
If you are struggling through a transition and need support, please call for an appointment.