A Mother’s Day Orphan

It’s almost Mother’s Day and it has me thinking of my mother. Sunday should be a day that is happy and celebrated, but for me, the day changed when my mother died. A few weeks leading up to that day, it’s hard to look around at Hallmark. Some commercials are even hard to watch. There are triggers for my grief in so many places.

I know it’s a day my children will use to honor me, but it’s bittersweet once you have lost your own mother. It’s just one reminder, in a laundry list of reminders that my mother is no longer living.

In the first few years after losing my mother, all I could do was weep on Mother’s Day. I missed her so much. I would fight my grief to find some happiness, to enjoy the breakfast in bed or treats my children made for me.  Over the years, it’s gotten easier but it’s still hard.

Although it’s still a hard day for me, in the last couple of years, I have used it to continue honoring my mother. Sometimes I plant my flowers that day and talk to my mother, as I know how much she loved flowers. Sometimes, I just sit in reflection, in memory of my mom and the many things she taught me. Other times, I allow my tears to flow as they represent my love for her and how I miss her.

This year, I am honoring her memory and her wisdom by writing this and sharing it with so many others who are missing their mothers on Mother’s Day. I hope mom would be proud of how I am honoring her. It’s no longer the cards or calls but I am still working to honor my mom on Mother’s Day.

If you have lost your mother and don’t know how to react this Mother’s Day, find a way to continue honoring your mother. Make it your own, make it special, and know the honor we bestow comes from the legacy our mother’s left behind. She lives in us.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom

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