Powerless Parents

In today’s blog, I want to focus on parents who feel powerless. There are many of us out there that feel that issues of caring for our children can be out of our control.

When they are babies, we can protect them and control their entire environment. As your child gets older, you realize more and more that you have less and less control and that can be a scary feeling.

I have talked to parents who worry about their children yet; know that they have very little control over their decisions and/or what they do. One parent shared that his child was either going to go to jail or die if he kept making poor decisions. When your child is 18, 25, 30, etc., how do you manage this?

It’s easy to say the have reached adulthood at 18 and you have to allow them to make their own decisions and that you have reached a point where what you have taught them needs to come into play, but that’s easier said than done.

If our children are making poor decisions, we find ourselves wondering,   “Where did we go wrong?” We take on the responsibility for what happens to our children even when we know that they are ultimately making their own decisions. Surely, if we had been more present or didn’t work so much or went to church more often, this wouldn’t have happened.

It’s even hard to hear that other young adults are doing great with no bumps along the road all the while your child is struggling.

We reach for resources in the hopes that there is an easy answer, but what if your adult child is not able to work and is dealing with addiction demons? There is no easy answer, just on-going cyclical episodes.

I try and remind parents that there are not alone. There are many with the same struggles even when Facebook shows us something different. It does however feel very lonely when this is your lot in life. Wondering if your child will ever be independent, free from jail and alive are all hard issues.

If you are struggling with any of these issues, find support. Often we find support for our children and we neglect ourselves. If there was ever a time to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, this is it.

To make an appointment, please call 301-690-8008.

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