Today I am reflecting on a bench my children gave me for Mother’s Day 10 years ago. I set it up at home to encourage me to reflect on my mother’s memories. I often encourage my clients to create a spot that supports their grief and allows it to come. The bench is my spot. I look at it and imagine my mom is sitting among the flowers I have planted and the bird feeder and bath I have arranged. It’s a beautiful spot.
My mother loved her flowers and would stand outside, watering them in the evening during the hot Texas summers. The color purple was her favorite. I used to enjoy walking alongside her as she watered and we chatted. Her flowers and the birds brought her so much joy and pride.
The other day as I sat there, my husband put up a swing for my 9-month-old nephew, who now lives with us. My niece swings him under the tree by the bench. My neighbors come over and sit and visit around that bench, and I’m curious if my mom will come to see the happiness and the beauty around the bench today. I can imagine her enjoying the laughter and the beautiful memories and how the ripple effect she made in life continues today.
If you have lost someone and want to honor or spend time with them, I encourage you to create your spot too. Build on the memories you have and continue to see the ripple effect.
