As I have been working with young people lately, I have noticed that both genders seem to falter when it comes to what they can or can’t say before, during or after sex. I have attempted to write a few things down that our young people can look at and maybe explore with their partner before engaging in sex.
Please feel free to add your own thoughts about what you would have liked your partner to know before having sex.
What I want you to know before I share my body:
- Before I share my body, I need to know that I am able to have a voice and if I say stop, you will.
- Before I share my body, I need to know that you care about me.
- Before I share my body, I need to know that you will look at me to make sure I am still okay with what is happening.
- Before I share my body, I know that it’s my body and I have ultimate say of what happens.
- Before I share my body, I will know that it’s sacred, important and will make me vulnerable.
- Before I share my body, I want to know that this act is between us and not for all of our friends to know.
- Before I share my body, I want to know I am safe with you.
- Before I share my body, I will be in full control of my mental capacities.
I would encourage young people to look at God’s design for sex. He is our creator and He also created sex to be a gift in marriage. When we choose to operate outside of God’s design and purpose ( premarital sex or pornography) then we will inevitably bring baggage into our marriages and consequences. If young people have already made some of these mistakes, it is never too late to learn God’s word, and His purpose and design for sex and to learn of His grace. This is not the message that media or the culture tells young people. It is not the norm. Being a true follower of God’s word is not cool, popular, or what the world tells us we should do.
Thanks for your response Mitzie. I too would love our young people to first recognize God’s plan however, I also know how hard that is at times, given our society. As I teen, while I knew God, I also knew the struggles of staying pure until marriage.
I want teens to talk openly about their struggles so that we can help guide them no matter what decision they choose to make. I know many of us would love our children to walk a better path than the one we have chosen and walked ourselves but it is their path. At a certain age, we no longer get to choose for our children what we feel is best for them. For those that are choosing to engage in sex, I hope these few conversation starters will make it less traumatic and that they know their bodies belong to them.